Daisy is her pride and joy. She gets taken everywhere – to bed, to parties, on holidays, to gym club. Since Daisy arrived in our family two Christmases ago, she has rarely been put down. Recently, she spent an accidental three-month-long holiday at Granny’s – and jubilant was the reunion that occurred a few weeks ago.
But, just recently, I noticed something:
Daisy’s smile is unravelling.
I was initially frustrated (Another Job Which Won’t Get Done) but then breathed a sigh of relief – after all, the most well-loved soft toys are the ones with loose thread, or a button sewn on in place of an eye, aren’t they? Daisy has always been loved – but now she’s starting to show it.
We have always been loved – but as we grow in realisation and understanding of that love, we may find that we start to become unravelled too. Our seams that we thought were so strong in holding our fragile lives together start to tear, gently at first, and then all of a sudden there’s a rip, and a hole, and a great big wadge of stuffing pokes out. Don’t we become desperate to poke it back in? Desperate to cling to the security of our former lives?
If your smile is unravelling, if your seams are bursting, if you’re getting a little grubby round the edges, then take heart in knowing that you are well loved. The breaking, the coming apart, the changing – it hurts a little (or a lot). But the God you cling to loves you and is changing you to look more like the well-loved child of God that you are. The process may be painful – but the end will be glorious.
Daisy’s smile will eventually go. There will be a short period of expressionless Daisy, and then I’ll most probably find a permanent marker, and draw the smile back on. Perhaps eventually her nose will be replaced, and her eyes. Maybe her stitching will need to be fixed. Daisy will never be the same again – perhaps she will not look quite so perfect – but she will be stronger and more resilient and just as loved.
If only I would let my old self crumble in the hands of my all-loving Father as easily.