9 Replies to “adoption: it’s not plan b”

  1. If it’s helpful at all to know, I never asked why you’re adopting as I always assumed it was because you felt called to by God and also assumed you could have more children naturally if you so planned? I admire you both so much, having briefly looked into ourselves and basically being freaked out by the massive challenge it would be. It definately has to be a calling! Can’t wait to meet your new addition 🙂

    1. Thanks Lucy! I guess (and hope?) most of my Christian friends would be in the same boat as you in terms of what they think about what we’re doing! But I want people to know that it’s OK to feel differently too! 🙂

  2. Thank you for this – it’s good to hear your motivation. One thought, though, as an adoptive mother myself. You will be “parenting someone else’s child.” It is vitally important that the child understands their background, their origins and their old family. They were not born to you, they were chosen by you. Whether you want to differentiate or not – adopted children are different.
    I love my kids as much as I would if if given birth to them. I didn’t. They need to understand that as it will help them trust my love for them.

    1. Thanks Kaye for your clarification 🙂 Great to hear from someone already on the journey of being an adoptive mum. I suppose I see it in terms of two families – our new child will have their birth family, and they will have their adoptive family. I’m not underestimating the impact that that separation will have had on them, rather I’m hoping that they will know that, although not born to us, they are ‘ours’ in the sense of having been chosen and loved and brought up and supported by us. With that particular statement, I was also thinking of a sad story I read recently, about a family who had decorated their adopted daughter’s room for her birthday – involving her in the colours and furniture etc. When the grandmother came in she said “What a lovely room for someone else’s child!”. Obviously I hope this is an extreme case, and that most people would have the tact not to say it, but even so, I do want my children to know that they are loved and wanted, whatever their background.

  3. I think that any child coming to you both will be very fortunate – but you will no doubt suffer all the anguish with this child that we all do with all our children – but with this one you cannot relate problems with family traits as we can with our own – you are in the dark there – God and his helpers be with you both – Ursula

  4. “Adoption was always God’s Plan A for bringing human beings into His heavenly family – and so He calls many people to consider it as a Plan A for their earthly family too.”
    Love this! This is exactly how I feel about adoption.
    You don’t know me, I found your blog by googling “adoption not a plan b” because over the last few months I have been getting more and more excited about adoption.

    I have a 18 month old son and to the best of my knowledge it’s no problem for us to have more children. We just really really really want to adopt.
    I know it will be hard, but I know Christ will give us strength through the adoption process and he will surely be with us when we are raising the child 🙂

    God bless you and good luck with your adoption process 🙂

    1. Hello and welcome Kristin! Thanks so much for your lovely message – amazing how God connects people, right? A specific Google search connects the exact phrase He is using to draw us both towards adoption 🙂 I’m so excited to hear about your call towards adoption – exciting times ahead, eh? You’re right, God never abandons us: there will be ‘strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow’, as the hymn goes, throughout the process and the actual business of raising an adopted child too. God bless! 🙂

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