goodbye 2012…hello 2013

Happy new year!

I hope the festive season was a good one for you. For me it was brilliant: a much-needed break, one which has brought me back home refreshed and eager to start the new term – and year – in anticipation of all that God will do.

I said I would explain my last post a little. Firstly, I want to make clear that, on the whole, my life is pretty good. Several of my friends suffered in a very painful way during Advent, and by blogging about my small-by-comparison woes, I’m certainly not making light of their suffering. But perhaps it’s helpful to communicate small hardships too. Perhaps it encourages others that it’s OK to be a bit miserable, that you don’t have to be standing on a cliff-top before you share your feelings.

Some very lovely things happened during Advent. We had a wonderful friend come stay for a weekend, and made many wonderful Christmassy memories together. Lots of mums got together for a celebratory meal after our first term of Tuesday Tots. The kids and I were lucky enough to see some real, live reindeer! I spent time with good friends over brunch, lunch, nibbles and dinner (not every day), in baby showers and surprise birthday parties. The Christmas pudding was a success!

Copy of 2012-12-12 13.50.30
Seeing the reindeer!

The difficult things were: illness one weekend (I’m never ill, and I’m a very bad patient when I am), a family bereavement, and God closing the door on some of our ideas for the future. It is totally gutting whenever we realise that our plans are not in line with God’s, but we trust that He is sovereign, and has closed this door for a reason. I’m thankful that He knows best, and that His ideas surpass ours!

So to 2013. I’m kind of into New Year’s Resolutions. The trouble is, there are too many possible ones to choose from. There are things I want to do less of (eat, faff, Facebook…) and the things I want to do more of (pray, fast, bake) – and, as you’ll have noticed, some of these are contradictory.

Therefore, I’ve decided to consider my general approach to life. Rather than nit-pick with small things which may not matter in eternity, I’ve resolved to live more of a celebratory lifestyle. I hope this will become clearer to me as the year goes on, because I’m not entirely sure that I haven’t said this to myself merely because it sounds grand, rather than because I actually know what it entails. But three things spring to mind:

1) Thinking about (and planning adequate preparation for) how our family celebrates major festivals (Easter, birthdays, Halloween, Christmas…);

2) Approaching smaller ‘events’ (having friends over, going out, attending church) with more generosity and hospitality;

3) Disciplining myself to celebrate Jesus, even (especially) when life is difficult.

There. No doubt that ‘celebration’ will be a regular theme on this blog in 2013. Looking forward to your input!

why everyone should read ‘see you soon’

When my phone alerts me to a new text message I instinctively reach for it, unlock it and read the message. It’s now such an intuitive reaction that I do it whilst doing something else – with the consequence that I’m only half engaging with the content of the message.

Most of the time, this doesn’t matter too much. Most of my texts are pretty low-level communication – along the lines of “Are you free next Saturday?”. Occasionally, there’s exciting news: a new baby, or a friend’s engagement. Only once have I received sad news. When I reached for my phone that Wednesday evening five years ago, I was tidying the Music office after the kids had gone home…I couldn’t have been doing a more mundane task if I’d tried.

And I suppose that’s how tragedies work – they creep into our lives when we were least expecting them, when we were expecting our spouse to ask us when we’d be home, or a friend to make weekend plans. In one of these innocuous moments, our friends Philippa and Graeme Skinner had lost their 21-year-old son to a heroin overdose, whilst he was working for Jackie Pullinger’s organisation in Hong Kong. An innocuous moment – but one which could not be undone.

‘See you soon’ is Philippa’s story of Jim’s life and death, the effect it’s had on her, and what she’s learned through it. I make no apologies for the natural bias of this review – the Skinners are our friends and were our church and small group leaders back in Sale, so I know them to be ‘normal’ folk, but with much faith and integrity. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Philippa writes with beautiful, honest eloquence. You will warm to her family even if you’ve never met them. Jim had been working in Hong Kong for three years with St Stephen’s Society, which helps drug addicts and prostitutes break free from their addictions and come to faith in Jesus Christ.

God was so clearly moving in Jim’s life, and blessing others through his ministry, that the unanswered question of why God didn’t choose to heal him from his own addiction could have left Philippa and Graeme faith-less themselves. Then there was the shame and stigma of being the family of a drug-addict – not to mention the guilt – was it their fault? Could they have done things differently?

But, despite all the battles they had to face, they chose a different path. From my naive perspective, inexperienced reader of bereavement literature that I am, Philippa’s telling of their journey is brilliant. It doesn’t offer glib answers – an “everything’s OK now” sort of approach – but neither is it full of morbid fear and bleak hopelessness that a book of this nature might be.

Philippa draws on useful sources – Scripture passages, books, philosophers, poems, songs, charities – as well as articulating her own thoughts about suffering and bereavement. It is clear that God has used the last five difficult years to bear fruit in the lives of the Skinners.

It’s a book everyone should read because:

* it will give immense hope to anyone suffering a bereavement (especially a drugs-related one) or supporting someone who is

* any parent will relate to Philippa’s story of desperate love for Jim, and will feel a portion of her loss

* it will make you think about suffering and, in particular, the ongoing spiritual battle in new ways

* it will challenge your ideas of faith, grace, sin and salvation

* it bears incredible witness, through the awful tragedy contained in the pages, that our God is sovereign and asks us to trust Him, despite unanswered questions

If you’d like to win a copy of this amazing book, please leave a comment below. Next Monday, I’ll put all the names in a hat and pick one for the free book. Giveaway now closed. Order your copy here.

For loads more articles and related information on this book, please click here.

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